Thanks to a great girl in my ward who recently agreed to do "temple swap" babysitting with me, I was able to go to the temple today. I don't know how to say all of this without seeming to complain, but things have been a little out of control lately. I know, I know - we're all busy and we all have "to-do" lists a mile long, but lately, it has been more than that for me. I guess it's really a lot of things piling up: the kids have added extra things after school, our house is still a mess from the hurricane (though, for anyone who cares, we're actually getting our roof replaced next week which is a MAJOR step toward more repairs!), I'm in a state of panic that another person is about to join our family and I'm barely managing the 3 we already have etc, etc, etc. I've been working on a few projects as well and I just feel like every single minute of every single day is taken up and used and there's not anything left over. No happiness, no joy, no peace, just the frantic pace of life and I can never get ahead.
Until today. I almost backed out. I have so much to do in the next few days, I told my friend that I couldn't go this week. But I felt so annoyed to put off my temple trip - it's never convenient or easy to go - so I called her last night at 9 and decided that somehow, it was going to happen. And wow. It was the best 90 minutes I can remember having in a very long time. So peaceful and wonderful. I didn't really want to leave. How come I forget so easily the meaning and purpose behind my life? Why do I feel so alone sometimes when I'm not? How come I don't remember the promises I've been given? There's really no way for words to describe how I'm feeling right now, but I'm so SO glad I went today. It was just what I needed. And now I feel like I can face the frantic pace of life again.
8 comments:
my life is D-U-L-L, and I love it that way, make it that way, insist on it that way, you should try it! and yea for the temple
I really should try it. I just don't know how to tell Hannah she can't be a part of UIL or math club and I don't want her to quit piano. And Charlie loves soccer - it's just trying to fit in the weekly games and practices. But running around all afternoon every day and getting home at 5 or later with 3 hungry kids isn't working for me either.
I don't have any answers, but I do love it when I get to the temple. Now that Dave has Fridays off we switch off every other week and go to the temple Friday mornings. I don't remember the last time I went with him, but I don't mind going alone. In fact, I sort of love it. And then I go downstairs to the cafeteria and have some clam chowder and pie and it's the highlight of my week. The first time I went since we moved here was in September and it was such a shock to me that it had been that long (in fact, they had changed some of it a year ago and I hadn't even known) Getting to the temple is so helpful with my perspective on life.
I feel for you and I am so there with you. I am so busy and so possessed by my "list." Todd's dad comes to town to see us tomorrow and I really need to do some cleaning, but I am going to do what I can and try not to stress about the rest. If Todd's mom was coming too that would be another story. I guess I am still trying to impress her. I haven't gone to the temple in so long-like more than two years. I want to and have a recommend and all but just can't seem to figure out how to get there. How lame is that?! I really need it.
Is there someone you could share soccer practice driving with? Use the crockpot more for dinners so that when you do get home dinner is mostly ready. Seems like that's all I do is get up go to work come home make dinner do laundry go to bed repeat all week. I hear you!
Just take each hour and day as it comes and enjoy it. Before you know it, you will turn around and they will all be grown and gone. You are in a wonderful season of life, as busy as it is. Just do what you can (and want) and don't fret about what gets missed (it's taken me about 60+ years to learn that and I'm still just "practicing"). AND, were on our way to help a little!
I'm so glad you got a little bit of peace. I can't imagine dealing with all the house and everything, AND being pregnant with #4. I think you're great Sara!
What can I do to help?! :) I'm not too far!!
yeah, I just say no, but most people aren't like that, that's okay, you'll just be busy
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